It’s ok if I just read it. I CAN’T fuck it up, though. What they see has to completely contradict what they hear. Can I maintain this for the entire duration? Ahh, we shall see. Yes, we shall.

Chap has grass in his hand. spaz grass Chap spazzes an pulls more grass to spazzz again
he throws his hands (full of grass) shakes his head shakes his hair
(full of grass) and roars a mighty grass spazz roar
Chap has grass in his hair spazz grass in his hair
spazz grass
Chap spazzes and shakes more grass from his head.


The girls will sit at their table. They will let the men across from them gaze into their gorgeous eyes. Is this for admiration? No, they are too young. This is for practise and nothing else, you must understand.

Now, are these my thoughts, or JoseF’s? JoseF’s, o’course, though his mind doesn’t hardly ever correspond to what he’s really lookin at.

Well, here’s an inerestin event for me to capture: a conversation. A dispute, even.

“So, like. There’s gotta be somethin that we want just for itself. Y’know, like, we want it in and of itself, kinda, a’not becuz of anything else. Right? An then, like maybe there’s this one good thing that we hold up above everything else, an like this is what goodness is, see?”
“Yeah, I guess. Like sex, or somethin. Maybe that’s kinda like how everyone needs certain things to live. I mean like, the species -the whole species- or somethin. I think the most important thing of all is heat. The sun, y’know. Fire. I’s ju’so basic. I’s the most basic thing ever. Everyone needs the sun, an really, the sun is jus fire. So, everyone needs fire. People can swap an exchange things, but ultimately, it’s all for fire. It all comes down to fire. It’s like how money is just a medium of exchange. It’s not the money itself that’s important, it’s what the money gets you.”
“Yeah, it’s sort of like that, I guess. But the thing is that the general public might not actually know what goodness is. It might only be people that really spend a lotta time thinkin bout that kinda thing, like you know, students... political science students or somethin. It migh’take alotta education or somethin to figure out what goodness is, y’know?”
“Well, I don’t think it matters how old you are. Old people act like little kids, an sometimes like, little kids end up bein really wise. It’s like life and death, bein awake or sleepin, it’s all the same dream, eh?”
“I totally agree with that. A person doesn hafta be old to be wise. An sometimes really old people are actually pretty stupid. It doesn make any difference whether yer young or not. It’s more like what the person does with the knowledge. I’s like, if a person puts a certain amount o’rational logical thought into their lives, maybe they have a chance at obtainin goodness.”
“For sure. Yeah, like, anyone can have understanding. That’s the important thing to remember, though. If you’re smart, i’s like yer duty to report back to the people who aren’t as smart -”
“But, just cuz a person is smart, or is really good at somethin, doesn mean that they’re gonna be happy. That person could still totally suffer for their whole life.”

“Yeah, I know that. Gawd. But I’m sayin there’s like this divine source of power that feeds us...”

Hey, I jus remembered, K Jan gave me another’eport. Yeah, pretty fanciful and articulate guy, da’s for goddam sure. He gets pretty deep into the details. Fairly well-written. His bio don show anythin bout ever livin in a city anywhere near where Chicago used to be.

SPY #060997 007
REPORT #2
DAILY OBSERVATIONS:
There’s quite a few ravens around here.
One of my teachers is pregnant. I hope she doesn’t pick me to hate.

DRILL EXCERCISE
This pretend mission came from my grandfather, well, I guess not directly. See, he mentioned in a letter that he used to come to Chicago pretty often on business trips a long time ago. He stayed at a hotel called the Knickerbocker. He looked on my mom's street map of Chicago when she got back but I guess he couldn't find where it was supposed to be. So, that's what I'm going to do. It's not a real mission because there's really no point in it but it's good practice. Anyway, I just wanted to request permission to pursue this course of action.




I’ll have to come up wid a very specific mission for him to pursue an see what he does wid it. I’m very inerested in dis Chicago shit. I want him to tell me more bout dat for sure. I’ll hafta think bout dat one a bit. A’right. I can feel my superiors shoutin digression at me. So, le’s jus move on, shall we? Here I am at yet anotha table. Fillin up yet anotha notebook. Here comes Randt again, spewing more of his’tupid shit.

“Take Joe, for instance. Totally stuck in the eighties. He puts everyone into categories and gets so caught up in them that he totally forgets about people, like what real people are like. He's that whole Ringwald movie series all rolled into one. And the truth is, people just aren't like that anymore. Maybe its the drug movement, maybe it’s post-modern ecclecticism. Call it what you will, but the distinctions between different types of people have broken down.”
“Yeah, man. I see whachew sayin but yo, it ain dat pos modern shit that I’m worryin bout. I’s like this new generation, dey jus don get it. Dey all on about de same fuckin ol trip. I’s all bout the fuckin Lexus, an the prim us so we shine. Mansions, jewels, an swimmin pools. Da’s all dey on about. I’s frontin. I’s a hustler’s mine, I’m telling you.”
“No, but that’s exactly what I’m talkin about, see? Like you already put a whole buncha people into one big category when you said ‘this new generation’, see? You get it? Categories like that don’t work anymore.”
“Yeah, but you just said, ‘categories like that’ so, isn that like talkin about a category of category?”
“Uh... Oh yeah. Damn it. You are one smart-ass bitch.”
“Don I know it. Hey, got any cigarettes?”
“Sure thing. Take this, but I gotta get goin. I guess I’ll see ya later.”
“Yeah, thanks.”




Hierarchical Observation
“Later, [Janet] conceived a system of the hierarchy of functions with five levels, at the top of which is the function of reality.” If the function of reality does sit at the top of some sort of hierarchical system, then it is difficult to see how it could at the same time act as a coefficient of such a system.
The ‘kinds’ investigated in Quine’s paper seem to rely heavily on the concept of similarity. Though Quine maintains that the relation between similarity and kind is somewhat unclear, he nevertheless believes that “the two notions are in an important sense correlative”. In this way, one might be led to wonder how a discussion of ‘kinds’ could take place without addressing what requirements of similarity form the basis of distinction between classes, categories and their members. The most immediate answer would be the one that Quine supplied: the notion of similarity is one that is innate to the human intellect, and this notion aids humans in picking out the natural kinds that exist in the world. How does one become cognizant of the ways in which nature distinguishes itself into kinds? But, if our notion of similarity is not picking out kinds that exist in nature, then what does it pick out? Quine believed that there was nothing more basic to thought and language than a sense of similarity. “Every reasonable expectation depends on resemblance between the present utterance of the word and past utterances of it. And every reasonable expectation depends on resemblance of circumstances, together with our tendency to expect similar causes to have similar effects.” One can see how this statement could possibly apply to the scientific endeavour of classification, however, Quine posited the basic intuitive sense of similarity and the theoretic sense of similarity on opposite ends of a scale that provides the basis for assessing the ‘maturity’ of a science. Such an assertion might lead one to wonder if the basic notion of similarity plays any role at all in the distinction of kinds that is present in a science that has reached maturity. Quine further complicates this matter by suggesting that in a mature science the notion of similarity disappears altogether. This is perhaps in part because Quine believes that the scientific standing of a general notion of similarity, or kind, is dubious at best. Does this entail that a notion of similarity, or kind, is not employed at the level of a mature science?

Ahh, yes, the awful standards. They’ve been found lacking once again. It is also formed in the skin by irradation with ultra-violet lite o’sterols such as ergosterol. Vitamin D is present in milk but its content is variable. The amount in milk is increased by d’action of ultra-violet lite, being at its lowest in de late winter. If it occurs in de first year de skull is principally involved because it grows fastest. A delay in closure o’d’anterior fontanelle. Sitting up an walking can be delayed. Nasal catarrh and an iron-deficiency anaemia are common and’e child is subject to attacks of bronchitis. Maladaptive physical symptoms: tachycardia, pupillary dilation, elevated blood pressure, perspiration or chills, nausea and vomitting.

Associated features: if taken intravenously, amphetamine or similarly acting sympathomimetics produce a characteristic ‘rush’ of well-being and confidence. Intoxication with high doses o’substances in this class may be associated with transient ideas o’reference, paranoid ideation, a subjective sense of profound thoughts, increased sexual interest, ringing in the ears, hearing one’s name called, and a sensation of insects crawling up the skin (formication) or seeing insects. Increased curiousity and bizarre behaviour, such as the sorting of objects into various piles, are sometimes observed. Stereotyped movements of mouth and tongue may be noted. Dis type o’stuff mostly applies to Chap.

When the immediate psychoactive effects of high doses o’substances in this class have subsided, they are replaced by unpleasant rebound effects (the ‘crash’) including a dysphonic mood and a craving for the substance. Other possible symptoms of the ‘crash’ include anxiety, tremulousness, irritability, and feelings of fatigue and depression.
Oh, man. I gotta get going. I s’posed to be auditing a class today.

“I see, right. That would do it, wouldn’t it. I wonder how that could’ve happened. Didn’t we have them removed from her ward?”
“I think one of her friends might have smuggled them in. I’ve been trying to talk to her about it. Quite a few visitors seem to be able to smuggle them in. I was wondering if we could do something about that. They don’t seem to understand the dangers -”
“Soon we’ll have to start patting down the visitors to the catatonics. Heh, heh.”
She’s beginning to gather up her docs. She’s leaving already. How can she be leaving?
“You’ve got me down for a full hour, right? I think we’ve taken care of all we can for now. I’ve a ribbon-cutting ceremony that I need to get to. You understand.”
Again, that lilt. Almost as if she’s asking a question. It’s not the case that she isn’t sure of herself. Does she want me to believe that she isn’t? She is standing at the door.
Just remember that “cocaine intoxication and phencoyclidine (pcp) intoxication may cause a similar clinical picture, and can be distinguished from Amphetamine Intoxication by the presence of amphetamine metabolites in a urine specimen or amphetamine in plasma.”
She looks at me strangely. Did I just say that out loud or what?! Maro, help. Keep it together for me.
“Did you say something?”
She’s looking at me, looking at me. C’mon, think of something cool.
“Oh, I was just thinking about something else.”
“Did you want to talk about it?”
She’s looking at her watch. A good sign.
“Oh, no. I’s just about my next appointment.”
She frowns at me, mocking concern.
“Well, YOU let me know if there’s something that YOU’d like to talk about.”
“Oh, yeah. Fer sure.”
“Alright. I’ll see you later then.”
She’s gone. She is gone. My head is in my hands again. I must be tired. I must be upset. When have I ever been anythin other than tired and upset? Where’s my mirror? Hmm. It doesn’t look any longer. Betta measure it an record it anyway. Gotta keep track o’my own ailments now, don’t I? But de grin is still there. Da’s somethin, at least. Through it all, my grin will see me through. Da grin remains da same. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! What the fuck is wrong with me!? FUCK!!!
I gotta shut down. I gotta shut down for just a little bit, ok? Maro, gawd! What am I supposed to do?! I gotta find JoE. Gotta talk to JoE bout all o’his dog shit. Man, he lucky to even be’llowed to even keep a pet here, never min somethin so fuckin vicious. He knows I gotta visit him in his room.

Here we go.
“Although animals appear to be increasingly incorporated into correctional programming, the research regarding the potential therapeutic effects of animals and what we know about PAPs has yet to be completed.”
Sounds like a good Ph.D. thesis, eh Maro?
“The programs in most provinces are most commonly of a community service design that uses dogs. Livestock care/prison farms have emerged as a unique type. Animal-based therapy has been used as an effective intervention with those who have been physically or sexually abused, and people with chronic mental illness.”
Well, interesting literature. I’m sure dat’ll help me to make a case for JoE keepin Berus. Anyway, NOW will you pull up my meeting recordins wid JoE, PLEASE Maro? Oh, thanks. Maybe da’s all I had to do, huh?

wintering

“Exactly. Tha’s what I’m talkin bout. See, these kids are relics of the eighties. They may not wanna believe it, but that’s what they are. That Breakfast Club generation passed into the next phase of their respective lives: college university, marriage, jobs, houses, mortgages, kids, dogs, pools, swingsets, rec rooms and board games, maybe a vacation once a year to Mexico, in order to offset the ravages of the winter weather. This is your typical, average north american lifestyle. This is exactly what that generation X or Y, or whatever tha shit, was tryin to avoid. All those eighties punks, piercings, tattoos, pink hair, they're all ways to avoid assimilation into mainstream culture. What you gotta ask yourself is, well, is it all just a phase? Is it just something that everyone passes through on their way to the middle? Maybe some people pass through it in a way that’s louder, or more obvious than others, but still, they don’t stick with their rebellion. And if that’s true, then what were they rebellin for in the first place? Prolonged, displaced, teen-aged existential angst. Is that all it is?”
“So you sayin dat now everyone is through rebellin?”
“Sorta. They suckin it up jus like the generation before them did. An now they feedin it to their kids. These are the kids that we see here today. Yo, can you spot me another cigarette?”
“Sure ting. fuckin mooch.”
“Say what?”
“I said, ‘Want some hooch?’”
“Yeah, of course. But, at the same time, what’s the alternative, you know? What can we do, jus rebel right off into oblivion?”
“You keep on scarfin down those bennies de way dat you do and guess den you won hafta worry bout it anymore, right? Speakin o’dat, man, you holdin?”
“Yeah, but only enough for personal. --"
“Bullshit. Fuckin rich, whitebred, punkass. As if you ain’t had enough personal today already. The whole time you bin talkin you bin twitchin like hell.”
--
“But, I'll warn you right now, Jo is going to be feeling sorry for himself, and talking about himself a lot, cause that's basically all he's into at this point. You're jus going to have to put up with it for a while if you wan any shit from ‘im. You gotta listen to his sad story first otherwise he won give you the time o’day. I mean it. I seen ‘im wid dat... oh, what’s her name? Dat sorta hippie chick. You know who I’m talkin ‘bout. Anyway, she jus wanted a bit o’pot, but instead o’ jus handin over a baggie, he was goin on an on about all his shit. She was tryin to look interested but I could tell she was just wanting to get the weed an go. But she knew that if she interrupted ‘im she’d get nothin. So, jus keep that in mind, man. Jo D’s got lousy customer relations. I’m tellin ya...”

I am runnin da phys. ed. beat. We s’posed to go round a block or two for a warm-up before we start our soccer game or whatever da hell it is we doin today. But I gotta plan, see? ’Cause -
OH. Ow. Ow. Ouch.
“Shit. Dat kills.”
I am doubled over on da sidewalk.
“Yo dude. You ok?”
“Fuck. I’s my fuckin ankle. Went over on me widda fuckin curb.”
“You gonna be a’right? Can you walk?”
“Yeah. I think I’m ok.”
Gingerly. Gingerly. Tryin to put weight on...
“Jus tell mista Moore it might take me a while to come in.”
“Yeah, ok. You wan some help or something?”
“I’ll be a’right. You go on ahead.”

Fuckin B. Langdon. Tryin to fuck my shit up or somethin. Wans to help me. As fuckin if. Ain no way no cracker gonna help me out any time soon. But here I am anyway. Right outside Jo D’s.

So, Jo D’s. Der’s a buncha people round, jus chillin an such. But everyone’s der to get der fix. Dat’s fer damn sure. Dey’s a coupla chix over in da corner tryin to smoke somethin dat at first looks like hash. But it sure don smell like hash. I get over closa an ask’m what it is. Dey tell me i’s chocolate.
“Yo, you mean, like, real chocolate? Da shit dat people eat at easter time?”
Dey nod der big ol’ stoner heads.
“Fuck. No wonder i’s stenchin.”
Chocolate, fuck man. Anythin to get high. I thought I was bad. Nex ting you know we’ll be into da fuckin nutmeg. Can’t really blame ‘m though. I remember back when I was in el. I was doin all kindsa shit too. Even a little solvent abuse now and again. But I’m much smarter an more mature dan dat dese days, of course. Tanks to Jo I am mostly strictly designer shit only.

“So wha’chup for today, honey?”

Jo D’s addressin me in dat way he’s got.

“I see you sportin a beautiful new Cyndi Lauper cut over dat tired ol’ mac daddy o’yers. You havin a Boo Radley moment are ya?”

“Huh?”
Whadda fuck is dis sucker goin on bout? I guess I oughtta be used to it by now. Fucker’s always talkin in dis cryptic shit.

“Ahhh. Don mind me, sweety. I’m just havin a little fun tuggin on dat long hangin Johnson o’yers.”
I look down. De guy ain’t even within three feet o’my crotch. Still, he’s makin me more dan a little nervous wid his line o‘reasonin or whatever da fuck it is.

Dis guy is so quick, man. I’m jus standin der an all I can tink to say back is, “You been dippin into da crack again, boy?”
Jo breaks out into a big grin. “Don’t I know it! Ha ha! What can I do for you, honey? Tranqs, shooters, blow, or you goin straight for the chrome dis mornin?”
“No thanks, baby. I’m actually thinkin o’goin to class dis afternoon.”
“Shit. No kiddin.”
“Da’s right.”
“Guess you wan somethin nice an light fer now then, huh?”

Jo D started out dealin ritalin when he was bout nine years of age. It was prescribed to him cuz o’his supposed hyperactivity, see.

-effectively decidable: there is a procedure that will give you a result

Impairment. Unless there is another diagnosis in addition to GIDAANT, the impairment is generally restricted to conflicts with family members and other people regarding the cross-dressing.

-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

(Third Edition - Revised)

“They were fine. I was - I mean, we was gonna close the deal but then Chu - uh, Billy, insulted one o’them. And the heavy set girl said that I had a receding hairline and I was a few pounds overweight, and I was like, ‘Go fuck yerself.’... Are you getting any of this, pal? Hello, you still there?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m done. Lunch, I mean. Sorry, I gotta get goin. I think I was’posed to be outta here, you know, ten minutes ago, or somethin.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to talk your ear off or anything. I just got going, y’know how I am.”

“Yeah, it’s ok. I’ll see ya later, ok man?”

“Yeah. Sure, sure. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Get yer ass on outta here.”

“Yeh, yeah. See ya later.”

Next. Who’s next on today’s list? I consult my pilot, whom I bin lovingly referring to as “Maro” for years. Maro calls out, “Spark”. Of course, das right. I’Spark. 

The ‘nametemplate’ field gives a file name format, in which “ “ will be replaced by a short unique string to give the name of the temporary file to be passed to the viewing command. This is only expected to be relevant in environments where filename extensions are meaningful. 

“Sparkolater.”

“...”

“So, man. How you at?”

“...”

“So, yeah. Good story.”

“...”

“Right. Well, maybe I’ll jus go’ver a few notes while your here, if you don’t mind. ”

“...”

Catatonic stupor: motionless, apathetic state in which one is oblivious or does not reacto external stimuli. Motor activity is nearly non-existent. 

I’m all out of ideas right now. I really am. Fuck. Note that the above specification implies that comments must appear on lines all to themselves, with “#” as the first character on each comment line. If the control unit is designed to extract the program from memory, decode the instructions, and execute them, a program can be changed merely by changing the contents of the memory instead of rewiring the control unit. To the extent that deviance is characterized as physical dysfunction, medical institutions become arenas for the control of such deviance. As Foucault suggests, the exercise of discipline presupposes a mechanism that coerces by means of observation; an apparatus in which the techniques make it possible to see, or to induce, the effects of power. 

The means of coercion make those on whom they are applied clearly visible. How does an individual reconcile actual delay when subjective experience reports no delay? Well, it turns out that the subjective timing (i.e., the timing that an individual experiences) is referred back to the arrival of the initial impulses which are “fast projected” into conscious experience. Something is filling in the gap, though the primary response (reception of the impulses through backwards referral) does not, itself, elicit a conscious experience. What one learns, or can learn, from a signal (event, condition, or state of affairs), and hence the information carried by that signal, depends in part on what one already knows about the alternative possibilities. 

I plan to trace this development by assessing the way in which several key figures in the history of treatment methodology... Catalepsy, a state that entails “some consciousness without consciousness of the ego”, is identified as the most rudimentary form of total automatism. But is the damage permanent? 

So, if I mine down far enough I can get it back, totally intact, or what? During total automatism, it seems as though the entire personality disappears from consciousness; every aspect of the self or the ego is subsumed by a level of the unconscious. These seem like workable descriptions of the conscious and the unconscious mind. They both presuppose a subject that can be conscious of his/her entire personality. 

This whole personality can then be split up into pieces that continue to develop at a subconscious level. He identifies voluntary attention as an implication of the function of reality, however, if such attention is voluntary then it seems as though it must not be an implication of anything other than the subject’s own will. 

Not too much time, just enough to wonder what I should be doin right now. Thinkin bout what I should be doin, I s’pose. 

going out again

02020603050405020304020b0604020202020204020b050602020203020400000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

02020603050405020304020b0604020202020204020b050602020203020400000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I am what has happened to my sisters

I am what has happened to my sisters

I thought I heard them lie in

sun lets down on moonlit skies

I thought I heard them cry

stifled back and quiet till

I thought I heard them die

I smack my shoe, my hoof

I am standing flicking lies

eating up the mud.

a knee-cap full of ice cream

children's ice cream

swimming in the mud

utter thighs of raw flank steak

rolling in the mud

Under the gaze of my own juicy eyes, I am the better

chrysalis that falls to pieces once a bull sets up

seep their way out 

hits that measure thin

peircing through the mud

tomes and brittle hard-ons

rotting in the mud

I thought I heard them cry. 

the knuckles down below sharp-edged knives. We see them fall. Have they been pushed? We cannot hear their lives. We see them fall. Have they been pushed? We never heard them cry.

Where have my sisters gone?

We cannot see them now. They are hiding in the brimstone, the scithy trees for nigh. They are blending with the ground now. Their fear has got them real.

We never heard them cry.

I am what has happened to my sisters

I thought I heard them lie

sun lets down on moonlit skies

I thought I heard them cry

stifled back and quiet till

I thought I heard them die

I am woman. We never heard them cry.

I thought I heard them lie in

sun sets down on moonlit skies

I thought I heard them cry

stifled back and quiet till

I thought I let them die

And know the place for the first time.

for ward thinking

The most important skills for almost everyone to have in the next decade and beyond will be those that allow us to create value-laden experiences for others.

Interest in such an area is heightened by the fact that representations tend to be severely limited by the structure of the group in question, and that therefore any information about the representations used in the past for a specific group in turn provides information about future successful representations to be used with such a group (assuming that individual elements remain unchanged). Remember: the only way to be a representer is to be a member of a community. This is because the standards of representational content are set by a community.

Information can be collected in a shorthand way (‘character theory’). To do this we must focus more intensely than ever on the nature of human experience. The result so far, has been a newly coalescing Field of Consciousness that has become a worldwide and highly interdisciplinary phenomenon. Whether our communication tools are traditional print products, electronic products, broadcast programming, interactive experiences, or face-to-face performances in realtime makes little difference. Nor does it matter if we are employing electronic devices or realtime bodies with voices. Representation theory considers images of groups in complex vector spaces; these then are the group modules. (This is a somewhat more flexible setting than abstract group theory, since we move into an additive category); modular representation theory studies the case in which the modules are vector spaces over fields with positive characteristics. Modern treatments of group theory also focus attention on projective modules. Taking trivial G-modules focuses attention on the group G itself.

LESSONS IN COMMUNICATION marks the first major gathering - a landmark - event devoted entirely to unlocking the mysteries of consciousness. In addition to the editor, M.T. Kretschmar, who is an anesthesiologist, a psychologist, and an applied mathematician, contributors include such luminaries as M. K. Atkams, Ebing Kraft, and Robert Chaplin. Together, these scholars describe the development of consciousness by assessing several key turning points in the history of dynamic human psychiatry. 

For the most part skeptics will call the whole thing a hoax, and then grudgingly admit that LESSONS IN COMMUNICATION is a hoax of exceptional quality. If finally catalogued as a gothic tale, contemporary urbane folkmyth, or merely a ghost in the machine, the text, itself, will still, sooner or later, slip through the confines of any one of those genres. Regardless, many people will continue to create or engineer interactions, presentations, and experiences for others.

FIRST

In order to understand human being, one must not cease from exploration...

“Ha,” said I to myself, “it seems that there are some people who grow there in Townsend,” and I feel a sense of deja vu. Is this a dream? I feel like I’ve been through all of this before. Then I ought to know how things will turn out.