Wednesday, May 1, 2013

"Dr. X? I feel like I'm missing something. When I'm in the FIELD, or like, walking around in the halls, or whatever, and I get into conversations with people... Well, I just feel that there's something missing from this simulation."

"Hmmm... Getting homesick, are we?"

"Oh. I don't think so. Not yet. Is that ok?"

"It's ok with me, as long as it's ok wid you. So what do you wanna change?"

"Well, there's this thing that happens sometimes with groups of people. I'm not sure if you've ever noticed it."

"Believe me, I've noticed pretty much everything, when it comes to people."

"Ok. It's like this thing, where one person will leave the room and then come back. The next person will leave the room and then come back... Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Totally. De ting I don't understand is why doctors try to convince patients dat dis'ome kinda paranoia. Dey always so eager to prescribe. I's terrible."

"Uh, Dr. X?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you tone down the accent a bit?"

"Sure! Sorry bout that. The thing I don't understand is why doctors try to convince patients that they are not observing some facet of human behaviour. Rather, doctors simply prescribe medication to treat the alleged delusion."

"So, it's not a delusion?"

"No, I've observed this behaviour. I know exactly what you're talking about. I have no idea where it came from, or what it's based on but it's not a delusion."

"Then what is it?"

"As far as I can tell, this behaviour aids humans in determining their limitations. Or at least, it's meant to help individual humans in communicating their limitations to one another."

"That's it?"

"Well, there's actually quite a bit to this pattern. For example, it's not enough for you to simply copy the behaviour of other humans around you. When you are in conversation with a given human being, say Pat, and you find yourself expressing agreement with everything that Pat says, Pat, in turn, may say something like, 'You need to get to know yourself better.'"

"Right. I think I remember something like that happening."

"Since you have stated your response in this fashion, I'll share with you another observation I've made. Now, you're not yet of legal age to drink alcohol but should you ever come across a situation where you are able to indulge in its consumption, one thing you should certainly consider is at what point you may begin to lose your memory."

"You mean, like black out?"

"Not necessarily. It's normal for humans to experience short-term memory loss on any given occasion, however, the consumption of alcohol certainly increases the range of this loss. It's difficult to determine the precise effect alcohol will have on an individual's memory loss before any consumption has occurred."

"Is this your way of asking whether I ever drank alcohol before?"

"Actually, what I have in mind is the simulation of consumption. Up until this point, I've been simulating your consumption of non-alcoholic beverages."

"You mean, even when I'm in the saloon with the girls?"

"That's right. You've never actually experienced the effects of alcohol in our Moon simulation. I do find it interesting that you've noticed this facet of human behaviour. It's unusual for humans to make observations of this kind before the age of 16."

"I'll be turning 16 this year."

"Right, but even 16 seems early."

"I guess I'm just special then."

"You certainly are, Carey. Shall I add the effect of alcohol to the simulation?"

"Yeah, but not too much."

"That'll be up to you, Carey. I will make sure that there's never too much alcohol in your drinks, but as always, the number of drinks that you consume is entirely up to you. I've noticed that you're quite conservative even without any noticeable alcoholic effects."

"Yeah, I feel pretty nervous about the whole thing."

"That is quite understandable. I want to emphasize, once again, that you are in a safe environment. I am always in control of whatever situation you are in. I will always make sure that no harm comes to you, no matter what happens. We've set the safety parameters ahead of time, and I am at your command should you ever wish to change them."

"Well, I was wondering if I could practice this whole behaviour thing. Like, how is it supposed to work?"

"How bout I set you up with the girls? Where would you like to try it?"

"Somewhere I feel safe. Maybe at Ultra-Violent's place?"

"Yep. We can do that. No problem."

"Thanks, Dr. X."

"Glad to help, Carey. Always remember that."