Professor MacKay is lying on a huge bed, his head cushioned amidst a mountain of pillows. He is speaking into a handheld device.
"Note to pantry: milk still too hot. 300 000 of Tsin Tsin: sell. 66 000 of Prosser and Ankopitch: trade at..."
A speaker in the wall next to his headboard interrupts the professor.
"Quinzieme Blue entry: a Ms. J.S. Bach, one-six-four-one-seven."
MacKay is clearly surprised, "At this hour!"
The speaker continues, "Purpose of visit: Queen to Bishop six. Check!"
MacKay fusses with his robe as he gets up from the bed, "Check... What nonsense! Wait a minute. Wait a minute!"
As Ultra-Violent enters the room MacKay is standing beside an antique chessboard, utterly transfixed by the pieces there. He doesn't look up at the sound of footsteps.

"Now," says Ultra-Violent, "here is what I should call real dirt. An old man of your age, Professor MacKay. Please, The Rhombohedral Lattice System? Haven't we gotten past this?"
Tyrell looks up, alarmed. He moves towards a tasseled bell pull that hangs beside the bed. Then he changes his mind and tries to extend his hand beneath one of the pillows.

U.V. tilts her head to one side and coos, "Go ahead. I want you to reach for that weapon, really, I do."

MacKay seems to abandon the search, "I'm surprised you didn't come here sooner."

"You know very well that ambiguous terms, like 'rhombohedral crystal system', won't get you anywhere."

Professor MacKay begins to creech, "But those are not mine, those are the property of the municipality, this is sheer wantonness and vandal work!"

"Tsk tsk, professor. That's what they all say. You deserve to be taught a lesson. How long has it been since you've learned a lesson? Trust me, honey. This is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me. Heh, heh. Sound familiar?"

MacKay, in a burst of camaraderie, decides to give laughing a try and comes out with a minor guffaw. Ultra-Violent is laughing, too, as she approaches him and places one hand on either side of Professor MacKay's face. She leans in closer, almost as though she is about to kiss him.

There is a loud sort of ringing, beeping sound, and Ultra-Violent flinches.
"Great timing," she mutters, and grabs the professor by the throat with one hand. "What?!"
She yells directly into the professor's face, then glares at an evil eye poised in one upper corner of his room. U.V. receives a response that is just barely audible to Professor MacKay, who squirms madly, trying to reach anything that will help him escape her grasp.
"Alright." She says, resignedly as MacKay grabs some books from a nearby shelf. He attempts to hit her on top of the head with them but she swats his arm away. "You naughty old veck, you."
Her free hand makes a fist, and she hits his jaw so hard that his dentures go flying through the air. "That ought to shut you up. Fortunately for you, I've been called away on urgent business."