The letter 'A' (when capitalized) bears resemblance to the inverted heart. This is a fact of which Thomas Pynchon was most certainly aware.

"The founders of a new colony, whatever Utopia of human virtue and happiness they might originally project, have invariably recognized it among their earliest practical necessities to allot a portion of the virgin soil as a cemetery, and another portion as the sight of a prison."

from The Scarlet Letter by
Nathaniel Hawthorne

deep sleepnessness

"I believe that all my imaginistic work is composed during deep sleep. But I am very seldom aware of dreaming."
[bells ringing]
"For me, even worse than blindness or deafness would be sleepnessness... sleepnessness..."
[bells ringing]
"... sleepnessness... I believe that all of my imaginistic work is composed during deep sleep. But I'm very seldom aware of dreaming... sleepnessness..."
[bells ringing]
"I believe that all of my imaginistic work is composed during... But I'm very seldom aware of dreaming..."

"Eleven o'clock marks the change. And the change is the Alternative Bedtime Hour. Delirium in the background right now... Bill Nelson, "Sleepnessness"... Stress, "My Father Once Said"... Bad Big King, Carcass... From the Residence Dedication to Elvis, "Baby King, Part FIVE"... Fred, "The Miss X Mix of Rosebud"... And bug powder and all, William S. Burroughs, "What are We Here for?"... Sort of an eternal question, isn't it?"

The Moon?

"And what am I to do in the meanwhile?"

"Perhaps you could find out something else... There must be something which could be brought against... and then dropped, according as to whether... comes to... senses or not."

"Of course that could be done. What about this?"

"Look! Keep the peace and be of good behaviour... I have to keep the peace... I'm glad I'm in good with my P.O. now..."
"Cool. Anyways, nothing really changed for me... Yeah, you saw that?! The whole time... Anyway, uh, I have to go to a community service... two grams... He's like, 'You're selling it aren't you?' Who's a happy...?"
"Actually, ..."
"You know what I was doing?"

***

Disgust or hatred, terror, anguish and despair are the sentiments that she might have experienced in her servitude to time. Unfortunately, for her there can be no time. A mere mortal has the capacity to experience a certain amount of anxiety when contemplating the fact that s/he could die at any moment. This is not my fate. I am experiencing acute anxiety because I will never die at any time.
Lupe, tristitia
Child of the Light and of the gods,
Taedium
Behold, I am in exile, seperated from them.
Phobos, timor, ekplexis, stupor, pavor, expavescentia
My enemies fell upon me,
And carried me
aporia, consternatio, amekhania
All in ignorance

Since I went forth into the Darkness,
Agnoia, ignorantia
I was given a water to drink which was bitter to me.
I bear a burden which does not belong to me

I am in the midst of my enemies,
The beast surrounding me;
The burden which I bear
Is of the powers and principalities.

Matter and her children
Divided me up amongst them.
They burn me in their fires,
They give me a bitter likeness.

The strangers with whom I have mixed,
Know me not;
They tasted my sweetness,
They desired to keep me with them.

I am life to them,
And yet I live not.


Deliver me from this profound nothingness,
This ache without end
From the abyss which is all torment,
And in which there is neither helper or friend!

Never, never is salvation found here;
Where there can be no growth nor entropy
I will occupy this same form eternally

I am a god
And a
Resplendent demon
Yakshas and peris

I am a somber inexorable dragon.
They make me
See death and pain.
They rush upon me...

ELUSIVE

the main event

So, lets say that there's one main event that can be split into an infinite number of events. These multiple events could be infinite in and of themselves. We could call that the universe, if we were so inclined. And then we've got time which is just the by-product of gravity/electro-magnetivity and mass. Time is the infinite unfolding of events in a certain order. We could also call this infinite unfolding 'cause'.

We are just so many of these events, and we're surrounded by an infinite number of other events. What we do is, we go about naming these events. We can't help but observe them around us and when we do that we can't help but pick out similarities; some events are like others, some are not like others.

Any questions so far?

...?...

Well, just attribute it to C.Gibson at the end of the 20th century.