The Moon?

"And what am I to do in the meanwhile?"

"Perhaps you could find out something else... There must be something which could be brought against... and then dropped, according as to whether... comes to... senses or not."

"Of course that could be done. What about this?"

"Look! Keep the peace and be of good behaviour... I have to keep the peace... I'm glad I'm in good with my P.O. now..."
"Cool. Anyways, nothing really changed for me... Yeah, you saw that?! The whole time... Anyway, uh, I have to go to a community service... two grams... He's like, 'You're selling it aren't you?' Who's a happy...?"
"Actually, ..."
"You know what I was doing?"

***

Disgust or hatred, terror, anguish and despair are the sentiments that she might have experienced in her servitude to time. Unfortunately, for her there can be no time. A mere mortal has the capacity to experience a certain amount of anxiety when contemplating the fact that s/he could die at any moment. This is not my fate. I am experiencing acute anxiety because I will never die at any time.
Lupe, tristitia
Child of the Light and of the gods,
Taedium
Behold, I am in exile, seperated from them.
Phobos, timor, ekplexis, stupor, pavor, expavescentia
My enemies fell upon me,
And carried me
aporia, consternatio, amekhania
All in ignorance

Since I went forth into the Darkness,
Agnoia, ignorantia
I was given a water to drink which was bitter to me.
I bear a burden which does not belong to me

I am in the midst of my enemies,
The beast surrounding me;
The burden which I bear
Is of the powers and principalities.

Matter and her children
Divided me up amongst them.
They burn me in their fires,
They give me a bitter likeness.

The strangers with whom I have mixed,
Know me not;
They tasted my sweetness,
They desired to keep me with them.

I am life to them,
And yet I live not.


Deliver me from this profound nothingness,
This ache without end
From the abyss which is all torment,
And in which there is neither helper or friend!

Never, never is salvation found here;
Where there can be no growth nor entropy
I will occupy this same form eternally

I am a god
And a
Resplendent demon
Yakshas and peris

I am a somber inexorable dragon.
They make me
See death and pain.
They rush upon me...

ELUSIVE

the main event

So, lets say that there's one main event that can be split into an infinite number of events. These multiple events could be infinite in and of themselves. We could call that the universe, if we were so inclined. And then we've got time which is just the by-product of gravity/electro-magnetivity and mass. Time is the infinite unfolding of events in a certain order. We could also call this infinite unfolding 'cause'.

We are just so many of these events, and we're surrounded by an infinite number of other events. What we do is, we go about naming these events. We can't help but observe them around us and when we do that we can't help but pick out similarities; some events are like others, some are not like others.

Any questions so far?

...?...

Well, just attribute it to C.Gibson at the end of the 20th century.

"I CRIED, YOU DIDN'T LISTEN"

Look at dis fuckin report, Maro! Jus look at it! Look at K Jan! I’s garbled all to hell, but he’s finally addressin... He’s comin to terms wid what he really did. D’whole reason why he’s in here. Maro. It’s progress. I know it is. I can feel it.


There were three hours before Billy’s parents would come home. He spent it putting together a shareholder presentation. He got out some flip-charts and some brightly coloured markers. He carefully wrote:

Rebranding Strategy
Rebranding property in question? Babyface.
Critical path to be followed? Fire. Initiate police investigation. Buckle down on grades. Seek new sponsors.
___________________________________________________________

He surveyed this strategy carefully. He knew that he needed to flesh out each point, listing pros and cons, using a separate sheet for each, tacking them to the cork-rail that ringed the family room. One can recycle cork. It’s true. He succeeded in writing out an agenda, just as his Aunt Barbara walked in the door. Billy’s father was obviously his VP of Operations. But it was Billy’s soul that supervised and approved any changes in policy or procedure that the family needed to manage. He could still feel Billy supervising as he filled out the Notice of Intent to Terminate. Billy’s soul and Barbara went through his things.

Billy and Principal Andromeda Holt went all the way back to kindergarten, his kindergarten, that is. Andromeda Holt knew and appreciated his style: refined, controlled, and above all, personal. Always one-on-one, they both possessed a certain degree of charm and subtlety. Or was it snobbery? Slobbery? I forget. The details are fuzzy, now. I do know that Billy thought it was this shared expression of personal style that kept him so close to the principal, granted him immunity. And perhaps it was. Up until I decided to interfere, that is.

Yeah, I clocked her one. I clocked her good when I found out what was going on between them. That’s what I felt she deserved. But Billy wouldn’t tell anyone. He kept saying that he LOVED her. And it’s not like I could ever rat anybody out. I know enough not to do that. Gawd, I would end up like that fuckin pussy, Dwight E. Abbott. He wrote that fuckin book, I CRIED BUT YOU DIDN’T LISTEN. Fuckin blamin everyone else for my woes. Fuckin pussy. He’s always been such a fuckin pussy. So, that’s how I ended-up getting put away the first time. And that’s when I first started to choose the path to hell. Or rather, I felt that this path had already been chosen for me and I was simply along for the ride.

SOMEBODY HAS TO PAY

Goddam janitor’s been at it again, goin through my files and messin dem up. Goddam. Goddam. Gonna write him up for sure. Kinda reminds me o’de time... When Prin... Well, wasn’t that...? Yeah, de time when Prin’s place got robbed, de time she was tryin to live without d’help of her parents. D’apartment got totally trashed cuz de burglars were pissed off der was nothin worth stealin. Eventually, Prin realized that dey had stolen some of her underwear.

What made me think o’dat again? Oh yeah, de janitor. Wha’s his name again? Paco. Right. Put another dime in the meter for janitor Paco. Ha ha. Gonna write him up for sure, goddammit. Wha’s he goin through my goddam files for anyway. I know dey been messed-up. I put dis one here, an’ow i’s over here. Wha’da fuck. I know it was him. He’s a spy for Kretschmar. I jus know it. Tryin to drive me crazy. Movin things around on me. Good thing I got Maro on surveillance for me. So now I got proof. I just got no one to tell about it. Ha ha.

For some reason, JoseF has decided that he wants to know the details o’K Jan and Spark’s cases. I s’pose he believes he can help dem somehow. I’d like to believe dat’oo. I just hopin dat JoseF don freak out or nothin. Some pretty heavy shit, afterall. Humans are sensitive to dat sorta thing. Well, here ya go, Jo. Have yerself a ball. (So to speak.)


060997 and 060998 Case Study:

060997 (a.k.a. “K Jan”) and his brother, Billy, attempt to hotwire a car they intend to use in a bank robbery. Unable to start the car, K Jan decides to steal a different car in which two teenagers are eating lunch. K Jan approaches this car and points a Luger at one teenager’s head. Then K Jan climbs into the back seat of this car and orders them to drive east. His brother follows in their own car. Both vehicles drive to a secluded canyon area. There K Jan tells the two teenagers about the upcoming robbery. He assures them that they will not be hurt. Indeed, he even offers to leave some of the stolen money in the car to pay for the use of it. The four then agree that K Jan and Billy will leave to rob the bank and that the other two youths will walk back into town and report the car stolen. As the two teenagers walk away, K Jan slowly raises the Luger and shoots one of them in the back. The victim yells, “Oh, God,” and slumps to the ground. K Jan chases the other youth down a hill into a small valley and shoots him four times. His first victim was still alive when K Jan climbed back up the hill. K Jan walks over to this youth, kneels down, puts the Luger to his head and fires. Recalling the aftermath of the shootings, it has been reported that his brother said, “He was swingin the rifle and pistol in the air and laughing. God, that laugh made blood and bone freeze in me.” After the shooting, K Jan drives to a friend’s house. There, no more than fifteen minutes after killing two sixteen year-olds, K Jan takes out the remainder of the slain youths’ lunch and begins eating one of their hamburgers. Billy becomes nauseated after K Jan offers him an apple turnover. Billy runs to the bathroom. ‘K Jan laughed at me,’ Billy is reported to have said. ‘He told me I was weak; he called me a pussy and said I didn’t have the stomach for real men’s work.’ K Jan was in a light-hearted mood. He smiled and told Billy that it would be amusing if the two of them were to pose as police officers and inform the parents that their children had been killed. Later, as they prepared to rob the bank, K Jan pulls out the Luger. Looking at the bloodstains and remnants of flesh on the barrel as a result of the point-blank shot, he says, “I really blew that guy’s brains out.” And he starts to laugh. By this point, Billy has become terrified of his brother and decides to run away.

Thirty minutes later, K Jan, along with his friend 060998 (a.k.a. “Spark”), is waiting for Billy and his parents to come home. He and Spark have now spent most of the afternoon trashing K Jan’s house. They break a TV, smash some beer bottles, and rummage through K Jan’s parents’ bedroom drawers for money, dumping the contents on to the bed. Less than two hours later, a woman passing K Jan’s house on a bicycle sees his stepfather lying in a pool of blood on the front walkway, and calls 911. Soon after, police discover Billy’s body stuffed into a crawl space in the basement of the home. There was no one else in the house. Little is known about K Jan and Spark’s activities during that evening, but it appears that they spent the night in a nearby vacant lot. They were arrested the next day while riding on a children’s carousel at a local amusement park, their clothes still stained with blood. Billy, K Jan’s kid brother, had been murdered some time around 5pm. His 125lb. body bore seventy-one knife wounds, mostly to his head. His throat had been cut so deeply that his spine was nicked. K Jan resented Billy, who had always been the favoured son. K Jan had endured years of harsh discipline and physical abuse at the hands of both his father and his stepfather.

Reflecting on her nephew’s past in an interview, K Jan’s aunt Barbara says, “I saw every grain of sweetness, pity and goodness in him destroyed. It was a long and ugly journey before he reached that point.”

Betcha anything Jo’s gonna want to know de gender o’de first two victims. I dunno who wrote up dat report but dey slipped by indicatin dat de one victim was male. Dat info ain’t allowed in de judgement. Regardless o’whether or not K Jan thinks he some kinda Son of Sam (couple killer) dis never affected his’entencin, strange as it may seem. I do think dat Jo ought to know what he’s dealin wid though, so I’m gonna tell’im.